I’ve lived in Europe for about eighteen months now, and it never ceases to amaze me. Often I’d just look at Paul, thinking ‘you’re European‘. I stare at old people, perhaps sometimes beyond the politeness limit, wondering about what kinds of stories they could tell.
However, I still don’t feel European. I admire them, but I still feel like a visitor. There’s still some things that I just don’t get about them.
For example, take football. I’m still trying really, really hard to like the world game, but I can’t stop my incessant questioning. Like, what is the point of the Europa League? So, the winner is the best of a bunch of teams that aren’t quite the best? And, why is it that in some countries, you don’t need to be the country’s champion to qualify for the Champions’ League? I JUST DON’T GET IT.
Evidence that I have tried to understand the madness.
Not into football? Okay, then let’s look at shopping. I thought the Netherlands was one of the world’s most liberal countries, yet shops are closed on Sundays. Even grocery stores. Streets are deserted on Sundays everywhere from Barcelona to Cologne.
In the Netherlands, this is the case every Sunday except for sixteen ‘Shopping Sundays’, which everyone plans to attend weeks in advance. Oh, and my favourite part is that in the large cities (Amsterdam, Rotterdam and Utrecht) shopping on Sundays is hunky dory. All good. I JUST DON’T GET IT.
Why is it that toilets in northern Europe have a viewing platform, but those in southern Europe don’t? What really is the point of a bidet when there’s a shower thirty centimetres away? If I run away after using a public toilet, will the coin-collecting lady run after me? And why must I have to pull a string attached to the roof to turn on a bathroom light? I JUST DON’T GET IT.
Now what seems superfluous to you? Credit: sunkorg on Flickr.
Why do the Dutch name their main vegetable as their meal, as in ‘I’m having broccoli for dinner.’ What about the sausages on your plate? Why can’t the checkout chick weigh my fruit? Why is the mullet still popular in Germany? And do kids actually still want the wooden toys displayed in shop windows? I JUST DON’T GET IT.
How come the Germans like massive beers and the Dutch like tiny ones, even though they’re next-door neighbours? Why is it OK to show full-frontal nudity on the six o’clock news? What’s the deal with ordering milk in restaurants? And why do the Poms not call themselves European? YOU SEE, I JUST DON’T GET THESE THINGS.
Until I have been enlightened and begin to understand such anomalies, I fear I will never really understand these people.
But hey, I suppose that’s half the fun.
The purpose of a bidet is to wash yourself
Usually shower is once or twice a day, you might want to wash yourself more often than that and if you have a bidet you don’t have to take shower every time 
Angela recently posted..Sustainable tourism in Sardinia, exploring Agriturismo Archelao
Thanks Angela! I just reckon it is so excessive, all this washing!
Hi Caitlyn, I’m new to your blog, and so far I’m loving it.
This post made me laugh so much, since I’m British. Poms don’t consider themselves European because a) we’re a separate land mass, and b) there’s a whole political side to it with the European Union, basically we don’t take a lot of the laws they set and we don’t use the € currency. I think that is part of it. As for all the other questions, I have no idea, but I think Europe would lose something if you knew all of those answers
Thanks Sammi! So you don’t think you’re European either? It’s a funny one, I reckon it’s got something to do with the Commonwealth as well, having so many more interests abroad. I reckon you guys are European though