I think I made a bit of an impact on Vienna.
When I was getting my wisdom teeth out in December, I watched many hours of television. On one particular day I was watching Kerri-Anne (I swear there was nothing else on) who was on location in Vienna. I’ve been excited ever since.
Vienna is very grand. The buildings are all lovely, the shops may as well require you to flash your Visa Platinum card to gain entry, and the residents partake in leisure activities such as the opera instead of football.
Don’t think you’ll ever see an Olympic bid from Vienna. First time I didn’t see kids playing soccer in the street for a long while…
On our first day we decided to go and see the Vienna Boys’ Choir. We were late and stingy, so we had to stand up the back, but as the Japanese tourists got bored with Mass and left in their droves we slowly crept forward and managed to score some seats. The choir was amazing and I was having a grand old time until it was ready for Communion. Pandemonium beckoned but these brothers were used to unruly tourists. They hadn’t met Caitlyn O’Dowd, however.
Trying to get out of my pew around a girl with legs to rival the guy opposite me on the Madrid-Lisbon overnight train was always going to be a difficult task. Of course I fell flat on my face, earning the attention from the whole congregation in the process.
It got better. The next night Steph and I decided to see an opera. The tickets were pretty cheap if you camped out a few hours before curtain-up. Our seats were pretty decent and we were feeling pretty good about ourselves… that is until the opera started.
It was a strange opera. This is coming from a girl who has never been to one before, but there was a hell of a lot of yappin’ going on, to quote George Costanza. As it was all in German, we had not a clue what was going on, I couldn’t even tell you what it was called except that it was by Mozart and started with ‘die’ which I think means ‘the’. I have it written down somewhere. At one stage I thought I was following when one of the performers proclaimed ‘ich bin priest’ which I assure you stumped me as up until that point I was convinced he was a cop.
We each had a little sleep at different points. I ended up waking myself up as I caught myself snore. Which of course gave us the giggles for the whole second half.
I’m my grandmother’s granddaughter. She caught forty winks on Broadway, I followed in her footsteps at the Vienna Volksoper.
I don’t think you’re going to have to worry about me moving to Vienna anytime shortly.